Then the wind changed

"Be careful. The wind might change and you'll get stuck like that!"

Some might say it's an old wives' tale but, looking around I have to disagree; if you keep your face that way and the wind changes, you'll be stuck like that forever. Sit at a cafe and look at the faces of people going by- you'll see what I mean:

The Eaglehawk: like the Muppets character, this lady looks at you from on high , down the length of her nose. And what a nose! Even if it's not actually a beak, it gives off a definite sense of beakiness, a beak- aura, if you will . There's an implied pair of half-glasses there too and, whatever it is, you know she disapproves of it

The White Rabbit: crafted by many years of dragging unwilling children through uninteresting shops - with no time to say hello, goodbye - this face retains its air of put upon panic well into middle age (>60) and beyond. The reason for the frazzle has gone but the face of the frazzle has stayed. Stop and chat to this face at your peril.

The Charlotte Bartlett: Made famous by Maggie Smith's portrayal of the eponymous character in "Room With a View" (oh Helena, how my teenage heart longed for you) this visage is characterised by resigned, long suffering disappointment with just a pinch of unappreciated self-denial for flavour. There is a slight pursing of the lips that happens every so often, like a nervous tic. It doesn't, generally,seem to be related to any apparent cause for disapproval but small children, public laughter, unsuitable shirts in shop windows or a slight change in the relative humidity - all crosses to be borne - will trigger the tic and implied sigh of resignation.

The Bambi: The dead give away that someone was dazzled by the headlights of oncoming life when the wind changed is the slightly open mouth.  It is usually matched with the gentle frown and general air of being thirty seconds or so behind unfolding events. It is a face that will probably have to blink once or twice when spoken to in order to bring it's owner's focus into the here and now.

The Winston-ish Churchill: This is a face almost solely seen on men.  It's a look they've been building to all their lives.  There is a slight tightening of the mouth,  a disdainful look in the eyes and a definite feeling that the next sentence will start with "Well, young man,  in my day ...". It is a face of assumed but unearned superiority.

The Billy Connolly: This is the face I want when the breeze backs into the West for me.  It's a face that has seen the joke. There is the merest hint of a smile at the corners of the mouth,  a gentle gleam in the eyes and a tendency to look at you sideways and grin when someone is griping their latest gripe.  This face is welcome anywhere and a real relief,  particularly to the young,  because they know that they'll walk away feeling better about themselves and their lives. I want to have this face.