Why are you talking?

Is it a common phenomenon to wonder why people are talking?

I learned something about communication a while ago and I seem to recall the concept involving exchange of information.  Listening to many of the conversations around me, I think I missed a tutorial.

Conversation style 1 involves discussing a common experience;  the weather is a perennial favourite. "It's a bit cold today!" This is self-evidently true. Anyone whose nervous system is in a fair state is repair will have experienced the phenomenon.  When two people are both rubbing their hands together in front if an open fire and are having to use a hair drier to melt the ice off their eyebrows, one will inevitably say to the other "It's a bit cold today!" What information is being imparted that adds to the knowledge of the impartee?

Conversation style 2 is about things a bit more remote from either of the speakers.  Say there's a news story about a car crash in which a family has been killed.  Now none of the interlocutors know any of the victims; indeed, the accident could have occurred in another state but it's still apparently worth exchanging some words over.  The chat inevitably opens with "Did you see ..." which seems to establish a shared baseline of knowledge.  Once this is done,  step two seems to involve sharing an emotional response. "That's terrible", "I feel so sorry for [insert surviving family members here]". This again is bewildering. Unless you're a card-carrying dues-paid psychopath,  the untimely death of another human being, particularly a child, will elicit at least a glimmer of empathy.  What is gained by vocalising the common emotional response?  Are we just checking in on the sanity of each other by making sure that we are still reacting appropriately? Alternatively,  do we have some kind of need for a herd response?

Conversation style 2a is even more bizarre. It's style 2 but the subjects of our sympathy aren't even real. I am completely baffled by the need to have emotional responses to soap operas, let alone take valuable time out of the day to share them.  These people are grown adults.  They do realise that Ted just got a better contract on another show, don't they?  He didn't actually die.

Is anyone the wiser for these exchanges?

My working hypothesis so far is that conversation is not about the exchange of information,  it's a way to make sure that our thoughts and feelings are sufficiently typical and average to be socially acceptable.

Conversation style 3 seems to confirm this theory. This is most commonly known as the "What about him? Do you think he's cute?" conversation.  Once married,  it becomes the "I'm thinking of buying a Jeep" exchange.  This is the ploy whereby we try to avoid having an unpopular opinion by stating our views as a question and gauging the response.  See who salutes, as it were. It's a great tactic if we're feeling particularly cowardly and unwilling to risk the judgement of others.

The final and rarest type of conversation is number 4; the kind in which real information is actually exchanged - and it's not about work. Facts and informed opinions are stated and responded to in kind. I've come across one or two of these in the wild - beyond the confines of the university zoos - but they are exceedingly rare.

Perhaps I might start a little breeding program.