Liff in the summer school holidays

Achfary (n) - The mythical creature that a four year old will try to convince you flew in through the window and poured honey all over the couch before exiting stage left, with ne'er a footprint or twinkle of magic dust.

Allnabad (expl) - The only phrase the summer holidays at home parent can manage to croak out when their partner comes home and asks how their day went.

Bargrennan (n) - the low level bickering that starts over the breakfast table and augurs particularly badly for the coming day.

Bridge of Gaur (n) - What the boys are pretending they're making the youngest child walk across in the backyard; and about which you officially want to know nothing.

Craigs (The)  (n pl) - Christmas decorations and other paraphernalia that you now have to pack away in a box somewhere for next year.

Dinnet (n) The automatic denial of guilt issued by a child, when you but call their name, that tells you that further investigation is necessary.

Forgandenny (n) The punishment of removing a tablet or other electronic device that you know you should impose for some misdemeanour but which you know will backfire because letting them play on their tablets is the only thing that will get you a half hour's peace during the day to drink a whole cup of coffee.

Gatehouse of Fleet (n) - chests of drawers, toys, broomsticks and other assorted objects arranged as a barricade to prevent that idiot from getting into my bedroom and touching my stuff.

Invershin (n) - An injury inflicted by a tomintoul (q.v.) which is probably going to need a visit to the ED and should certainly result in a minimum 24 hour confiscation of all electronic devices (xref Forgandenny)

Overscaig (n) - The set of craigs (q.v.) that, despite your thoroughness in checking under the couch, behind the fridge and in the toilet cistern, have missed being packed away. And you've just sealed the box and put it on the top shelf in the garage

Ramscraigs (n pl) - Craigs (q.v.) that have been damaged by attempting to shove them into the 1cm gap in the side of the craig box so that you don't have to actually re-open the box and have all that tinsel jump back out at you like a striking viper.

Suisnish (n) - The feeling you get when you realise the kids, despite instructions, did not remove everything from their school bags before Christmas and it's now January 23.

Tomintoul (n) - any everyday household object or appliance transformed into a weapon with which to beat your stupid brother.

Troon (n) The TV show that, despite all your best start-of-summer intentions, you put on as a form of riot control when the dry-bulb temperature outside is 35C and the apparent temperature in the house is approaching boiling point.

Wanlockhead (n) - what the bargrennan (q.v.) has evolved into by morning tea time.